Thursday, August 7, 2008

Project Runway: Que Sera, Surreal?

With the Olympics about to begin, what a surprise that the designers were ordered to create women's wear for the opening ceremonies. This could have been an interesting challenge if we had the designers from last season, wouldn't it? Just imagine what the edgy, Kit Pistol would have come up with--or some of the other more talented Season 4 designers?

Let's see...
  • Chris's design would have employed human hair on the shoulders of a track suit. Like fringey epaulettes.
  • Alisa would have imbued the fabric with the sweat of athletes of years gone by. Then after the ceremony it would be recycled into ribbons for the rhythmic gymnasts.
  • And of course Christian would have come up with something fabulously skinny and unwearable that only David Beckham would have been able to pull off, most likely featuring denim.
Lucky for the Season 5 designers, they didn't have to actually work with Olympians who would wear their designs... I can't help but think that having to fit athletes, with their various built-up muscles, would have been an exercise in futility. Well, except for Joe's ho-hum skort and jacket combo (and am I the only one who thought the flap on the front looked like a dinner napkin she'd tucked into her front?).

About Jennifer, last night's auf'd designer, Nina was kind by noting that Jennifer has a hard time letting go of her own style, and she was absolutely right about that. And Jennifer was glad to get back to her "surrealism." Honey? We saw no evidence of your surrealism. Unless you were hiding a dripping clock in a petticoat somewhere. Last I checked, the element of surprise was one of the harbingers of a surrealist painting. Maybe it was a surprise to her that she was auf'd?

Still, I couldn't see anyone tucking themselves into Korto's winning, color-blocked leather vest and yet another extremely wide-legged trouser (yawn!) completely lucked out that so many people got so many things wrong last night. Terri rocked it more than Korto, I thought, with her gorgeous jacket -- I would buy that in a heartbeat; loved the seams.

Jerrell? You have got to be kidding me, with that Holly Hobbie getup you threw on that model? You are lucky that somebody in that judging room thought the mix-and-match fabrics meant you had a clue. (And what was with the Robin Hood costume? Unless you actually steal from the rich and give to the poor, you should just give that hat the heave-ho.)

Keith's dress with the puff at the bottom should be burned. That was an insult to women athletes, everywhere. Heck, an insult to women.

The gladiator outfit that Stella wrought wasn't as awful as I'd predicted.

There is something about Kenley... I'm not sure if it's pure evil, or if she's just picking apart the competition. With immunity in hand, she clearly saw Daniel as a threat, and I can't help but think she meant to lead him down the rosy path of ruin by suggesting he avoid the Wonder Woman cliche, when it could have been the very thing to save him! (Poor lad, he looks sick to his stomach in every episode; I hope this doesn't do him in.)

Something about Kelli's outfit makes me think, 70s homemaker Mom, smoking a cigarette out back before her kids come home from school - probably the farthest thing from an Olympian outfit you could put out there, aside from Jerrell's monstrosity.

A circle skirt? Really, Suede? Hm...

Leanne, stop adding things onto your clothes. Just make great clothes. Period.

Actually, that's a tip for all of you! Make it sew!

2 comments:

Kitty said...

I have to say I was going from really disliking these people to thinking they were okay.

I was impressed by how quickly they could whip these clothes out. It'd be cool to be able to do the same, just whip out an outfit in one day. Geez.

Kenley annoyed me as well. I could see that everyone's bitchy side was oozing out, due to sheer stress.

Jennifer was out of touch. Surrealism doesn't really apply well when what you're making has to function in reality!

Spandrel Studios said...

The strain of being under the gun and in such a stressful situation must cloud all their collective judgement. There doesn't seem to be as much last-minute stapling and glue-gunning and hemming on the model as we've seen in years past.